A Conversation With God: Part 1

16 June 2015.

Tomorrow, 17^th June, is my birthday!

What if I die today, make the journey to the doorsteps of His heavenly abode and have a discussion with Him? What it will be like?

G: God

J: Julious

(Opening my eyes and seeing Him)

G: Hey! Say something! Come on! This ain’t a dream my friend! It’s the real thing! I’m sorry your number came up.

J: Goodness me! Hey! Hi .. but .. Sorry for what?

G: I made you miss your 25^th birthday by some hours!

J: Oh gee! It’s still 16^th June? That’s just …..

G: Unfair? Unlucky? ‘Africa’? Come on say something! I know you aren’t much vocal about your failures. I know you like to make fun of it and let everyone believe you are okay with it but not me bud! I’m .. what you guys say .. Antaryami .. Omnipotent .. I know it’s hurting you .. stuck up in life .. trying to do something so as to be able to do something else later in life .. It’s alright kid! Say! But yes don’t call yourself Africa because I haven’t forsaken that land as I haven’t forsaken any of you. Don’t copy Leonardo from Blood Diamond. I know that guy is pissed off for not winning Oscars but let him look up to Peter O’Toole! So say something.

J: You reminded me .. I haven’t watched Lawrence of Arabia yet! That’s another bummer! Yeah I’ll go with bummer .. It’s a bummer to miss my birthday by some hours! Oh I’m now feeling sad .. My parents .. My sister .. My friends .. They all must have had something planned for me .. Come on! This is isn’t cool!

G: You know what? Gandhi walked straight away without a word through those doors into heaven! He didn’t see the country he freed and he thanks me every day for the same but still goes on fast to better his homeland!

J: Alright! I won’t sulk! I’ll also walk in...

G: Who said you are going in?

J: So hell it is? I don’t think I’m that bad!

G: No, not hell!

J: Gee! Purgatory?

G: Nope! You are in kinda sticky situation! A limbo!

J: Between hell and purgatory? Is there even a place like that?

G: No! You’re in between heaven and purgatory!

J: Okay! But I don’t think there is place even like that .. You just made it up!

G: This is your story .. You made that up .. Don’t blame me!

J: Phew!

G: That's not a 'Phew' For me!  You can’t go to heaven and I can’t keep you in purgatory! 

J: Why is that?

G: See, you’re a fairly good person! Have attended all Christmas, Holy Week Masses and every other day of obligation and have missed Church on Sundays thrice in the years you have lived! You get brownie points for that particular day when you walked to Church and back home on a Friendship day in a pretty heavy downpour! Kudos! But what other than that?

 I mean those are rules made by men not by me! The only rule I made was to love others as you love thyself! Pray for your persecutors and love your enemies! And a list of 10 other commandments which every bloke should follow if he wants to live even with himself but I see where you guys have gone! So on what basis shall I put you in heaven because I know that’s what you would wish to go!

J: SOP jaisa kuch likhneka hai kya?

G: Hahaha! Come on, its just a way to get onto with this conversation!

J: Alright! Have it your way then!

G: Finally! My way! Yipee! (Sarcastically)

J: Sorry Sir!

G: It’s okay kid! Say!

J: Well I have been a fairly good son, brother, uncle and friend!

G: Keep speaking!

J: I dunno ..

G: Anything that comes to your mind!

J: I have offered my seat to every elderly person and women in public transportation whenever I saw one standing! I have also asked them to ask for their reserved seats when I was standing! I have helped them with their luggage! I have stared back into the eyes of the person who was checking some poor soul out! I have stopped my bike at every accident to help the people involved! I am vocal about those who spit on roads! I have almost every time bought food whenever a beggar asked me for money .. I started denying them lately .. Sorry ..I have taught some slum kids and helped them with their studies! I was a pretty good teacher too! I loved my family and friends fiercely, obeyed rules, never rode without a helmet and .. I dunno

G: Don’t be nervous! Speak your heart!

J: I was a good son till the end! The times I did fight with Mom Dad was when I was trying to be a mediator!

G: Ok! Agreed!

J: As a brother I tried my best! I lost it sometimes because it just got too much for me and for that if you wanna deport me to hell I’m okay with it!

G: Ok! I’ll accept that!

J: As a friend, I have being honest, fierce and forgiving! Except for some who were .. You know what they were and what they did .. I couldn’t forgive them entirely during the time I lived!

G: Okay! And I know you were a wonderful nephew and a good uncle! But this is reciprocation my kid! You loved the people who loved you and you disliked the ones who despised you! That’s not worth it!

You didn’t learn to share your problems! You didn’t learn to ask for help!

I shared my fears with my father before they crucified me.

When I fell for the third time while carrying the cross, they made Simon of Cyrene to carry my cross as my human body couldn’t carry it! I didn’t say ‘No it’s my cross. I and only I will carry it’ 

It was a way of showing the world that there is one thing God can’t do and it’s to make you guys love me! 

You’re creatures of free will and I can’t make you love me and for that I need your help! Because when you find your way towards me you will be helping yourself and others! You didn’t give anyone that chance! You robbed them of that opportunity! It’s not good kid!

J: Yes I’ve problem with sharing my problems! You know that whenever I have started to say something, to share something and I’m really, really speaking .. in the flow .. and that’s when that person cuts in .. and I can’t complete .. it’s so damn frustrating .. and over the years I have tried but then I finally gave up on it .. very few times I tried to share again .. the response and sincerity I am expecting for the reply .. that doesn’t come .. its like the other person doesn’t give a damn when I give so much when they are in trouble .. Do you know how difficult it is?

G: Son, you were in second standard when you started with this daily routine. Get up, a short prayer, brush, washroom, bathroom, get ready and prayer. You didn’t have breakfast without reading the Bible and praying! Past half decade that’s gone and I was still counting on you to start that again because you were such an adorable kid! So sincere .. And you are not the only one .. there are millions for whom I am waiting to turn back to their old innocent selves .. but you guys have time for every other thing .. do you know how difficult it is for me to keep waiting?

J: Yeah I’m .. I’m sorry Sir!

G: Don’t call me Sir! I have called you my friend, son .. Don’t get formal with me!

J: Sorry!

G: So what do you reckon? How do you suggest we get out of this situation?

J: I don’t know!

G: You were gonna turn 25! You must have thought something to do, to change, something different. Haven’t you? 

(To be continued)